Picture me like this: I am in a kayak on top of the very solid rock of my 40th birthday, waiting. Soon I will be pushed into the rushing river below, and I don't know which direction I will head in:
Upstream with a very strong paddle, toward the birth of my second child?
Or downstream into the rapids, without control, as my father in-law dies inch by inch, in the final stages of his 5-year battle with advanced prostate cancer.
I'll just stay on this rock a little longer, thanks.