Self Portrait as...a flowering garden

Self-portrait Challenge-July 2006
Originally uploaded by CreativeExile.

Holy cow, I forgot I joined this website. I was reading through blogs (most notably the prolific and stunning work of Joy) and realized I've forgotten about taking a picture of myself every month. I grabbed a chance after E got a side shot of my now 33 1/2-week pregnant belly in the garden to take a few arm's-length head shots of myself.

This month's challenge is "Self Portrait as a..." You fill in the blank according to a metaphor for your life. I didn't know this when I shot some portraits outside today, testing some principles and theories of CZ's that I've been mulling over since reading about the importance of self-portraits (and scrapbooking about yourself) in her latest book.

As I went through the gallery of photos I took of myself just now, I felt a weird sort of detatchment. Perhaps that's what I don't like about self-portraits. For me, at least. It's not so much that I feel they are self-indulgent (although I did feel REALLY foolish standing in my garden, aiming my camera at myself...waiting until E & Tess were off to swim before getting up the nerve...hoping my neighbors wouldn't pull up and glance in my backyard and think -- ?!?!).

I realized it all boils down to the same thing...my adoption. Not knowing who I look like really creeps me out at times. I see myself as a stranger on the street...I think, hmmm...she looks interesting (I think, dammit, her hairdresser gave her The Rachel cut & blow-out today...that is so 1995!)...I think, she looks very...pointy. Pointy chin, pointy nose. And that skunk streak right in the middle of her cowlick! Where did she get those weird features from?

I have no idea, and looking at a whole gallery of strange faces, all of them mine, is a little more than disconcerting at times.