"Whatever shall we do in that remote spot? Well, we'll write our memoirs. Work is the scythe of time." --Napoleon Bonaparte, on his way into exile.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Morning Pages

I really suck at Morning Pages. To me, sleep is more important to my creative recovery than Morning Pages, especially considering I keep a daily diary and I've been very consistent with that. I write down daily events and insights just before going to helps me sleep. So if I let Morning Pages slip, I only have myself to blame, and I'm choosing not to blame myself for any perceived "lapse" in perfection this time. It's perfection that's killed my creative joy in the past, so I'm not inviting her to the party anymore.

I'll probably go to Junior Consultant status in October; it's what happens when you don't meet your $300 quarterly sales requirement. I could meet it when I was working, but no longer. My monthly budget -- for books, stamps, yarn, needles, anything "fun," even my beloved mochas -- is $70. I've blown through September's already and it's only the 8th. I try not to think of it as my "allowance," but that allows me (ha! great pun) to wallow (a spelling pun: "w" + "allow," look at that) from time to time. Wallowing is occasionally invited to the party, but I ask him to leave early.

Junior Consultant means less communication from corporate, not a bad thing, and only 10% off instead of the base 22%. Lisa might have a party at the end of the month but I should have supplies to do a couple of projects with her guests. I like to do gift items instead of cards -- everybody's excuse is "I don't do cards!" -- things like post-it note holders and mini comp books. I bought so many large comp books for a craft show that went bust last year (didn't sell a THING, my first and LAST craft show) that I'm using them for my own diaries, journals, and morning pages. I could even use large comp books for Lisa's party. That always wows them. If Lisa's show goes well (and she might do a catalog party instead, easier on me) I might even stay full consultant through the end of the year.

I took Cameron's "Sound of Paper" out from the library (again) yesterday, not that I ever have time to do the exercises (my daily diary is my prime writing outlet right now) but her narrative is interesting to read. I've had her "Vein of Gold" out from the library for a while now (I keep renewing it), and I LOVE the idea of doing a narrative time line. There's something in writing an autobiography that appeals to our ego, isn't there? And it will be great to make sense of my childhood from where I'm at now -- I'm at peace with my parents, my marriage (except for finances, which we fight over regularly, natch), and my role as mother. Totally different from where I was in 1995 -- before my ex-fiance, my dream job as editor, my move out of the suburbs where I grew up.

I'm very intrigued by NaNoWritMo and may give that a try this year. A creative goal, of sorts.

Well, I tried to upload this several times, thought I lost the whole damn thing; must be a common frustration because Blogger automatically saved it as a draft. Between that and Tess playing with the keyboard, I about had a meltdown.


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